When Life Gets Too Loud
- April 30, 2010
Give Lauren a shout-out on Facebook
I must say that I can't think of a more fitting title for a sermon on Mother's Day than when life gets too loud. Let's be serious. If you have a child, especially more than one, you know what I'm talking about. Whenever my 2 year old daughter Evelyn gets in her carseat, she does this thing where she just moans along with the sound of the engine. She used to cry a lot in the car and now she just moans...loud. I turn up the radio to drown her out and Jack, my 3 year old, yells over and over...that's too loud mama, too loud. And I want to shout back, no, you're too loud. I can't ever catch a break.
Things get even louder when we have friends over. I brought a clip of just a normal night with friends at our house. PLAY! For those of you that have kids, you're probably feeling relieved that it's just not your kids that are totally insane and for those of you that don't, well, now maybe you never will!!
I've found as a woman and a mother, it's not just our kids that our loud, our lives in general our loud. As men and women, human beings, we live with a lot of noise not just on the outside, but internally. We have loud voices in our head...some are louder than others. I wish I could stand up here and say God's voice was the loudest in my head, the most influential, but let's be real. It's not, for most of us. I didn't have any prophetic dreams last night or hear God's voice, the only voice I heard was a tired toddler at 3 a.m. telling me their bed was all wet because they spilled water.
It's true isn't it? We're under many influences. We're being swayed in our thoughts, our small daily decisions, our big decisions by the many voices we hear in our head. Now before you think I'm crazy and question why they let a girl who hears voices speak on a Sunday morning, let me clarify what I'm talking about, the kind of influence I'm talking about. Here is a list of the loudest voices in my head that influence me the most...My Top 5...You stink as a mom, wife and friend, you'll never be as good as...You've messed up too many times, you're a lost cause, just give up...You are alone...Things will never get better...You're missing out and You're going to be left behind, so you better do more now
Maybe these don't ring true for you, but guarantee there are some very loud voices in your head speaking something along these lines (unless you've already tuned them out)...
You're stupid, you will never amount to anything, that could be the voice of a disappointed parent. Or maybe it's the voice of cosmo - you're not skinny enough, you don't have the right clothes, if you just memorize these 10 tips to satisfy your man, you'll be OK. Or maybe it's the voice of a critical friend, boss, coworker. Or what about this one, I've heard this a lot in counseling, Lauren, you don't understand, I'm different, I'm not like them, this is a special case, an exception.
Or maybe it's not anything negative at all...maybe your spouse, your girlfriends, your boss think you are the very best and they tell you all the time and you're afraid if they really knew what was going on. You name it, someone is speaking loudly in your ear this morning
So what do we do with all these voices? All the noise? Well, we respond by busting our butts, don't we. We work really hard. I have to keep working to gain the approval of my husband, my parents, my girlfriends, my kids, my boss, my church. I have to prove them wrong or prove them right, or maybe you're busting butt to prove yourself wrong or right.
Here are some symptoms of this kind of living. See if you recognize any of these in your life? Exhausting activity that leads to depression and burnout, an inability to say "no" to people or demands? Lack of focus in your life because you're always changing direction based on others' opinions? Constantly having to please others? Resentment over having to do certain activities after you have said "yes?" A pride and constant advertisement of your accomplishments in order to be noticed by others? Extreme compulsiveness in your approach to school, work, child raising, relationships? Competitiveness? Where you always have to be first?
Depending on the day, I could answer yes to all of these questions. I'm a total affirmation junky and I am exhausted half the time b/c I'm living, working, breathing all under the direction/guiding of these voices that are always in fluctuation, leading me here and then there and back here.
Well, this morning I want to tell you, assure you that there is another way to live. Last year, a woman whom I deeply respect in our church, Robyn Dykstra, taught at our annual spring women's retreat about being friends with Jesus. Sounds trite, right? I thought so, until she started to speak. She got up on stage and the first words out of her mouth were...Everything I do, I do to make Jesus look good. I always am making sure I'm walking in step with him so that He looks great and then other people will want him too.
I thought, no way. This can't be for real. She went on to talk about how she helps people with car trouble on the side of the road and has down and outers over for dinner and how she talks to her husband or parents her kids in order to make Jesus look good.
I struggled with this in my mind. Like, really, really. I hold doors for people, I help them with their groceries or stop to ask someone if they need help on the side of the road, but I'm telling you honestly my motive is typically not to make Jesus look good. I'm usually hoping someone I know sees me or drives by and thinks, wow, look at her, she's so great. She's so kind, so helpful. She's going places! I like her. Augh!!!
But as Robyn went on, a longing stirred in my heart to live with this kind of simplicity. That I would have one center, one reason, one motivation, one direction, one purpose, one voice...Jesus. And to hear her say, it's possible, I do it every day... That you can turn off the loud voices ...You would have thought I would have known this by now. But it was new way of living to me and it might be new to many of you this morning.
Let's pray.
There is story after story in the Bible of men and women who lived in this way that Robyn described...living under the influence of only God's voice. But there's only one man who got it perfect and that was Jesus. From his birth to his ministry to his death on the cross to his resurrection.
Jesus was tuned into one voice, the voice. There are dozens of illustrations throughout the gospels where we hear Jesus say things like, "For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me." John 6:38 or "I always do what pleases him." Let's look at some of these stories today from Jesus' life. Open your Bibles to Matthew 3 if you'd like to follow along.
John the Baptist is traveling around Judea preaching about the coming Savior, calling people to repent, believe and be saved. He's baptizing people in the Jordan river and here comes Jesus in vs. 13. Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. But John tried to deter him, saying, "I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me (with vocal emphasis?" Jesus, are you crazy? Son of God, are you crazy? I can't baptize you. I can't even carry your sandals, let alone baptize you, that doesn't make sense.
And what does Jesus, say..."well, I don't want to push you out of your comfort zone...not if you're going to be mad at me cuz...is this going to come between our friendship?" No! Jesus replied, "Let it be so now (emphasis added); it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness." Jesus knew it was the Father's will. He was listening to his Father's voice. Then John consented. In the beginning of his ministry, Jesus sets the stage...he isn't here on his own mission, doing his own thing. He's been sent by his Father and follows his voice even when it seems strange to others.
In John 5, Jesus gets embroiled in all kinds of controversy because he heals a man on the Sabbath. It's a firestorm! They're discussing what they'll do to him, they're spreading gossip and lies... The Jews even want him killed. How does Jesus respond, knowing these men could easily take his life ... verse 19... "Jesus gave them this answer: "Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. 20 For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, and he will show him even greater works than these, so that you will be amazed."
Let's be serious here. You or I waiver in how we talk at the library, at the gym, even at church, if we feel like someone might be offended by what we say about Jesus. We don't want to step on any toes. But Jesus is not messing around here; he's tuned out the noise., those voices...they won't like you Jesus, this is a bad career move Jesus, are you sure you're hearing right and he's tuned into the one voice of his Father.
A chapter later in John 6, we see Jesus' miraculous feeding of the five thousand. The people see what Jesus did with a few fish and loaves and are convinced that he is the "Prophet" with a capital P who is to come into the world. Verse 15 says, "Jesus knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force...that's when your preschool mom friends all want to know how you have it so together and you don't dispel the lie and fill them in on the real details or when your old employer wants to offer you twice as much money, when you've decided with your spouse to stay home with your kids or cutback on working so much to spend more time with the family. This is when you've decided to risk in any way to follow what you believe Jesus is calling you too and something else better comes along right after you've committed to live differently. But Jesus was on a mission, John writes, that knowing the people wanted to do this, Jesus withdrew again to a mountain by himself."
Withdrew to a mountain by himself!? What would have been so bad about being king!? After all, as king, Jesus would have had high visibility, an influential platform to preach the salvation message, an opportunity to reach the most powerful people in society? But Jesus wasn't listening to good ideas; he wasn't reading his own headlines... The Father alone was ordering Jesus steps and Jesus followed.
Later on in this same chapter, chapter 6, Jesus faces another one of these situations. In this passage, Jesus is deserted by his friends. Jesus has been teaching and for a lot of the followers, this stuff is just too hard to accept: they're ready to go. Anyone ever been abandoned by a friend, before? Jesus has some options, just like we do: [mimic praying, look up to heaven] "Father, maybe we could lighten up a bit. Everyone says I'm a real Debbie Downer, if we keep this up its going to be just you and me." Jesus is facing flat-out rejection, even by his closest twelve disciples. Jesus doesn't change the tone of his message - I am the bread of life, whoever comes to me will never be thirsty or hungry again - he simply asks his disciples, "You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the Twelve. Nothing, not even rejection, is enough to cause Jesus to stop listening to the one voice.
Moving toward the end of Jesus' life in John 13, the disciples are at the last supper and Jesus is rejected by one of his closest friends, he's about to be betrayed, in fact, by Judas, one of his 12 disciples. He knows that his betrayal will lead to the most horrific, painful death. But rather than talking Judas out of it, "can't we work something out, there must be another way", Jesus says to him, "What you are about to do, do quickly."
The stories go on and on and on. He's given so many opportunities leading up to his crucifixion, to recant, to take it all back. Seriously, Jesus, with all the power of heaven and earth behind him, could have blasted these people. Like, Sylar and Peter Petrelli have nothing on Jesus. That was a pop culture reference for those of you looking confused at the moment! He could have taken the easy way out. This is too hard, these people are too far gone, the plan has gone awry and hasn't turned out the way I'd thought, I'm not popular and well liked here. Let me finish them all off and we can start again.
Facing the agony of the cross, knowing it's coming, he says in John 12, Jesus says, Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!" Father, it's all about you. Whatever you ask of me. He knows what's coming. But again, He never waivers, not in the face of embarrassment, shame, public beatings and death like a common criminal on a cross.
Jesus' life was directed by one voice. Jesus' thoughts were tuned into one voice. Jesus' ears were turned off to all the noise. No life before or since has ever radiated such inner purity and freedom from conflicting motives, compromised integrity. No thought for his own reputation or gain colored his speech or actions.
Jesus was listening to one voice, and if we're ever to get beyond all the noise in our lives, all the competing voices of complaint and criticism and fear and self-loathing and compromise and chaos, we've got to tune into that same voice - the voice of our Father.
So good for Jesus, right! But what about us. Few of us hear the voice of the Father as regularly and clearly as Jesus did. Thankfully, Jesus modeled for us how to do this. Jesus lived as we live - with all the limitations and temptations and challenges, so that he could show us how to live, how to tune into the voice of his Father. There are actually some practical steps we can learn from Jesus about how He did this.
First, Jesus was secure in his Father's love. There's this beautiful father/son scene in Luke 3 where Jesus is baptized by John and Luke writes, in vs. 21 and on..."And as he was praying, heaven was opened and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." It's difficult to doubt where you stand with god as a son or daughter when a voice from heaven calls down and gives you a big "atta boy" in front of hundreds of people. Before Jesus begins his ministry, God assures him of his love for him and establishes his authority and credibility as his son. Jesus was secure in his Father's love from the get go.
In John 8, there's a dispute over who Jesus says he is and listen to what he says starting in verse 27 They did not understand that he was telling them about his Father. So Jesus said, "When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him." Even as he spoke, many put their faith in him." Jesus was certain, under intense persecution, close scrutiny, that the one who sent him was with him..." He has not left me alone."
Do you know what that voice, the voice of the Father, is saying to you this morning? Do you know its possible to hear from God all the time? Just by tuning in.
You may hear in your head, "It's impossible." Do you know what your Father says, "All things are possible." You hear, "I'm too tired." Your Father says, "I will give you rest." You hear, "Nobody really loves me." Your Father says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love." You hear, "I can't go on." Your Father says, "My grace is sufficient for you." You hear, "I don't know which way to turn." Your Father says, "I will direct your steps." You hear, "I can't do it." Your Father says, "Through Me you can do all things." You hear, "I can't forgive myself." Your Father says, "As far as the east is from the west, that's how far I've removed your transgressions from you." You hear, "I can't manage." The Father says, "I will supply all your needs." You hear, "I'm afraid." The Father says, "I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self discipline." You hear, "I'm not smart enough." Your Father says, "I will counsel you and give you wisdom." You hear, "I am all alone." Your Father says, "I will never leave you or forsake you."
Jesus was able to sacrifice himself, to endure the trials and tribulations of his life without waivering, because he so perfectly tuned out all the other voices, all the other messages by tuning in to this voice, the voice of His Father EVERY DAY. I'm inviting you this morning to get alone with your Father and to discover for yourself what He has to say to you.
Jesus was secure in his Father's love and secondly, he also spent time alone, a lot of time seeking His father. Every Gospel is full of account after account of Jesus withdrawing to pray, praying early in the morning, at night, all through the night, praying alone, with his disciples. He's modeling for us what a relationship with the Father looks like. The author of Hebrews tells us that anyone who believes in God and earnestly seeks him will be rewarded. It will be in the alone time with your Father that you hear his promises to you, his plans for your life specifically. It's in those times that you will grow more secure in his love, more confident in who he's made you to be and he'll reveal to you his priorities for your life.
I am a pretty upbeat person, but being pregnant or breastfeeding for most of the past three years has taken its toll on me and I've been prone to some nasty bouts of depression, the kind where getting out of bed and dressed seems overwhelming and quite the accomplishment all at the same time. So, in the fall I was feeling this way, like I couldn't do anything. I'd lost my focus, didn't like my life, my husband, my kids, my friends. I was feeling done. One morning, Michael got up early before the kids and pulled off all the sheets and pulled me until I fell off the bed and he said, you need to spend some time with God. Now. Augh!! So, I just sat down and opened my Bible to Hosea, where I always go when I'm depressed. I figure if God deeply loved a floundering prostitute, he must have some feelings toward me. So, I read through it, sit quietly and it happens. I feel really peaceful and I have the most awesome picture come to my mind of Jesus and his disciples walking upstairs in my house and sitting in my living room. I felt like he was saying to me, Lauren, you are so special to me, so important, that when I was ministering on earth, had you been there, I would have stopped by to see you. And that he wouldn't have just talked with Michael, but he would have talked to me, his partner in ministry.
15 minutes alone with my Father and I was completely renewed. Completely reminded of his love for me. Completely reinstated to His mission. The Father is inviting you this morning, no matter where you're at or what you've done, to get alone with him, to hear his voice again. In the words of Hosea, to let him allure you and speak tenderly to you.
And out of these quiet times, you will begin, as Jesus did so perfectly, to tune out the conflicting voices and listen clearly to the voice of the Father and discover HIS priorities for your life.
If you're anything like me right now, you're thinking, great, Lauren, I'll just add pray more to my page long to-do list and end up feeling even more guilty when I don't get it checked off and then I'll miss out on hearing what God has to say to me and well, I might as well just give up now. I stink as a Christian. Let me be clear. I'm not saying that. I'm actually inviting you to simplify your life.
What would it be like if you knew exactly what God was asking of you in this season? And that was confirmed by your spouse, your home group, your church family. It doesn't get much simpler, less conflicting, quieter than that. I know what God is calling me to do and I'm doing it. What a release of pressure, from the tyranny of the oughts...I should be doing this or that.
Ray talked about one of my favorite verses last week from Ecclesiastes that says, There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens and that God has made everything beautiful in its time." Since I've become a mom I've had a really hard time being content in this season of life. I love to be busy, not with kids busy, but with reading and gardening and going to parties and leading groups and meeting new people and staying up late with friends, but that is without a doubt not the season I am in at the moment. That season will come again and it will have its struggles and joys just like this one. But I can tell you that listening to the Father's in this season has made me certain that his first priority is for me to be a great mom to my kids. And while I wrestle with that and sometimes long for this season to end, there is something so safe, calming, and comfortable to know I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
It is possible to live with one center, one reason, one motivation, one direction, one purpose, one voice.
Jesus made the Father's priorities his only mission. Do you know it's enough for you in life just to do what the Father requires of you? Even if that's just being a mom? Just being a dad? Do you know what God is asking of you right now? What has he especially made you for in this season to enjoy and cherish?
