The Vineyard Church of North Grand Rapids, MI

People look to a church for a lot of different reasons..worship God...find answers to our problems...we want our children to get a good moral education...to be taught the Bible.

But many people end up here in search of something much more basic: friendships, connection to another real-live human being. And that is no less holy or less valid than any other reason.

People are exceptionally aimless & lonely these days - many people find themselves in church for that reason. The loneliness & aimlessness that people experience today is actually something of a phenomenon. We've got more options, more social mobility, more job choices, than any group of people that have ever lived on the earth (you don't have to be a carpenter or farmer just because your dad was) but when polls are done on job satisfaction Americans are at an all-time low, less than half of all Americans claim to be "satisfied" with their job. In 2005 the business consultants The Conference Board did a study and found that only about 3 of 20 people say they are very satisfied with what they do for half their waking hours. What about the other hours? For a lot of us, the most interesting thing we've seen or done all summer has been on television. Aimlessness.

And then there's loneliness; a 2004 Duke U study published a report that in the 25 years ago about half of Americans had people outside their immediate family whom they confided in. Today its only 20%. A quarter of the adults in this country have no one that they confide in. Psychologists tell us that one of the major causes of depression, which happens to be the most common psychiatric disorder today, the most common reason for medication, is loneliness, the lack of relational connectedness, social isolation. For a lot us, the most connection we've felt recently has been on the internet, perhaps. But, not surprisingly, there are just loads of new studies indicating that high levels of internet use contribute to depression, social anxiety, isolation. Apparently, you can get a date on the internet, but you can also get trapped in a cycle of loneliness.

For a lot of us, our lives are actually structured to make us lonely. Even our homes and neighborhoods. Think about it, if you live in a neighborhood built in recent decades, the whole layout conspires to keep you alone. The fences, the lack of sidewalks. When the old neighborhoods were built in Grand Rapids or Detroit or Chicago or Cleveland there were very few zoning codes, and so you'd have home and shops, offices and apartments intermingled without much restriction. You could actually live next to your barber shop or next to Jimmy John's, and then you might never have to cook again. Before the days of 2.7 cars per household, people could actually walk out of their houses or apartments, walk out on these things called sidewalks, and expect to meet their neighbors. Unless you live in East Grand Rapids, Alger Heights or one of the older city neighborhoods, you probably can't do that anymore.

Today, neighborhoods are built for cars, not people. Its funny, we still put crosswalk lights up at intersections, even along the East Beltline, as if someone might take a summer stroll to Meijer. You know, if you decide to take a walk on the East Beltline people will literally wonder "why is that man walking on the East Beltline? Who let that inmate out of jail, lock your doors kids. I've been riding my bike to work lately, and people stare at me sympathetically like I don't have a car or maybe I lost my license for drunk driving: "How sad for that poor man that has to ride his bike." Other people look at me like I'm a freedom fighter, "what is that guy doing, trying to disrupt society?!"

New American neighborhoods are kind of strange, you know Europeans still have old town squares, and we've got the Celebration Village, which is strangely not a village of a celebration, just another fancy marketing scheme.

Now unless you live in an old neighborhood with a front porch that thrusts you into a relationship with your neighbors, most of us are fenced neatly into our backyard so that we don't have to be bothered with other people's barbeques. I hope you don't live like that! But my neighbors do. The family behind me has had their mini-blinds so tightly shut this week, they haven't even been out on their deck, the lawn isn't move, if the house wasn't lit up at night, I would've gone over there looking for bodies by now.

The whole design of the modern suburb is anti-community, ultra-privacy and highly individualistic. But you know that, don't you?!

Is it any wonder that we're lonely? Is it any wonder that your work feels aimless? If that's not true of you, great but realize that is true for half the people in this room if the statistics are right. Your neighbors with their blinds drawn probably are lonelier than ever.

And we find all these dysfunctional things to do with our loneliness. The CDC reported this week that AIDS infections in the US are way higher than they previously estimated, they cite the cause as risky sexual behavior, which I think goes right back to loneliness. A lot of us are hoping to fill the emptiness with work, or a marriage, or something we think is safer than sex, but we're not finding an answer to our loneliness and aimlessness, at least not in large numbers.

And the trouble is we were made for something more...
I. We were made for more than modern life offers

So what can a church offer that you can't find on TV? What can Jesus offer that you can't find at work, or at the Celebration Village?

If your answer is "not much" then I submit to you that you're doing it wrong, you haven't discovered all that there is to Jesus. Some of us have thought that becoming a Jesus-follower is a matter of answering a true/false exam.

If you grew up in Grand Rapids you might've been taught that Christianity was a belief system with true/false questions, like "True or False: Jesus died for our sins" I marked true. Jesus died for our sins.

And to the statement "Jesus rose from the dead-true or false" you may have marked true. Jesus rose from the dead.

But Christianity is not a true/false test. The journey of following Jesus is marked by at least three "yes/no" questions.

1. Will you trust your entire life to Jesus? Yes or No.
It doesn't matter how you say "yes" to trusting your entire life to Christ. You might come to the place today where you say, "Okay, I surrender to you, Jesus." You can say, "I give up." You can say a prayer. It could be as simple as just saying yes in your heart But you have to say yes to Christ, "I trust you with everything, even things I haven't thought of yet. Otherwise you are not a disciple.

2. The second question Jesus asks everyone who wants to be considered one of his followers is "Will you trust yourself to my people in the church? Yes or no." And you might've said, "oh, I trust Jesus, but you are no disciple until you trust yourself to God's people in the church.

"Well, I fellowship with all Christians. I fellowship with the invisible church." Have you said that?

So often the reason why people do not join any church is because they want to hold the back the part of themselves that could be bothered or hurt or worse. They want to be in control. Some of us are gun shy because we did this in the past. We answered yes to question 2. I will trust myself to God's people in the local church, but we found that God's people in the local church were not trustworthy. We found that they were abusive. Discipleship involves saying, again, yes I will trust myself to God's people.

3. And the third question that Jesus asks of all of his followers is this: Will you get involved in my cause in the world? Yes or No. Yes or no in some practical way will you give yourself to Jesus' cause in the world to save the lost, to comfort the lonely, to feed the hungry, to visit those in prison, to minister healing to the sick and dying? Yes or no will you give yourself to Jesus' cause in the world?

See, you are not a follower of Christ until you say yes to Christ; yes to the church; and, yes to the cause.

But we always want to select one or two out of the three, don't we? I want to say yes to Christ, but his church I am not sure about. That's why we say at the Vineyard our mission is to live Jesus' life together.

This morning I'm talking about our answer to those last two questions. How are you answering Jesus invitation to connect with his people? How are you answering him in joining his cause?

Let's read the next section of Philippians, 1:27 - 2:4
Whatever happens, as citizens of heaven live in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together with one accord for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved-and that by God. For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have.

As you've heard the past couple of weeks, Paul is writing to a group of his most loyal supporters, warm friends, concerned allies. He's in jail in Rome because of his missionary work. After recounting all his troubles in Rome, his uncertain future, his deep hope to see them again, he says simply, "Whatever happens"...whatever happens (last wishes)...to you, to me, to our reputations, our lives, to our church, you're "citizens of heaven" (your hope is secure), so live in a manner worthy of this gospel of Christ. Here's what that looks like, "standing firm in one spirit, striving together, or literally, "contending for the faith of the gospel, not being frightened in any way." Its the language of competitive sports, like their Greek olympics. Jesus' cause is about going for the gold, striving toward the finish line.

II. Jesus' cause brings significance to all of life
Our suffering, our troubles, our relationships.

Paul is using the language here of honor and war. The Philippians are proud Roman citizens, who felt a compulsion to live up to their rank in the ancient world, Paul says live up to citizenship in heaven (it carries a weight of duty, pride, responsibility). Phillipi was a city of Roman war veterans, and to them Paul says contend for the faith of the gospel. Keep rank, keep the faith. No matter who opposes you. Keep fighting for this good news to reach everyone. A Phillipian could feel that in his soldier's boots (or lace up sandals).

The reality for us as Christians is we're in the fight of our lives, or more accurately, you are in the fight of his life...

A. you're in the fight of his life
you've taken on Jesus' cause, a cause that cost him everything,
when you take on Jesus cause, your life is miles from ordinary.
There is no greater significance you could find than taking up Jesus' cross (as he asks his followers to do) and following him. His cross is the centerpoint of history. And you're contending for his cause.

Now some of you have come to this church not because you were weak or needed help or even friendship, but because your life will always have a twinge of aimlessness without a cause to live for, a cause to die for. No matter what you sell or make or design at your day job, it can't offer you that.

STORY: Bill Golder, spent his 20's & 30's making money, climbing the ladder, ascending to VP of sales in a company that sells to some of the biggest companies in America. Bill was headed for the top. But a few years ago, he realized he was trading in his marriage, his life, his soul for what, for money, position, recognition?

He wasn't empty, he wasn't at rock bottom, he just knew he wasn't serving the right cause.

Bill (actually his wife Susan) found Jesus in a local church that welcomed people of all walks. And Bill soon followed. When they moved to Michigan, God drew them to this church, and Bill says "we've pushed him to take more risks than he ever thought of taking." Bill's life is quickly becoming consumed with Jesus' cause.

Over the last year, I've watch Bill get "prophetic words for people in home group, then an old college, then taking risks with a friend at work. "If life was just the drudgery of just making money, and dreaming of ways to make money, I would hate it." Imagine this, a guy that in 3 short years has gone from making plans to be CEO to dreaming up a mission in East Asia.

Jesus did not live and die to establish an impossible moral code, to perpetuate a judgmental system of religious piety. That's not even part of his cause!

He came on a die-hard mission to rescue, redeem and restore the world, to put the world to rights. To rescue the the least, the last, the lost, the ugliest, the dirtiest, the most offensive, the most hostile of us. Now God save the church if we don't look like that!

We still think way too small at Vineyard North, the Servefest is great, New Focus is good (those are programs I run) but what could a group of 500 committed citizens of heaven do in a city like this (or in Africa, Indonesia). There's got to be a little more!

Story: we as a church entered into a partnership this year with a sister church, the Vineyard of Port Elizabeth, South Africa. There's nothing much exotic about this church, 500 people, middle class, mid-sized town in a well-developed country that could just as easily be the US or England. But this church has over the last 10 years sent nearly all its members on 60 hour caravan rides to the tribal villages of Malawi, like driving from here to Nicaragua, and they've planted 50 rural tribal churches in places that don't so much as have running water.

What do you think this church could do if we banded together?

Notice next, Paul doesn't say that its going to be easy...you might actually pay a price.

For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have. Do you remember from last week what Paul's struggle is, jail, beatings, ridicule, slander.

But if you've answered yes to his cause, here this...
B. your suffering is for his sake
Your struggle with evil actually one of the way God overwhelms and defeats evil in the world.

eg. Think about it: bad stuff happens to everyone, but if you're a Jesus-follower you've been given the impossible task of non-retaliation, forgiving those who've hurt you most.

The Christian thinker who has the most to say about forgiveness, is Croatian-born theologian who is head of Yale Divinity school. Miroslav Volf - in the winter of 1993 in Croatia, he watched the Serbian militants herd his countrymen people into concentration camps, raping women, burning down churches, and destroying cities.

Most people would agree, every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats. That's what we see in the movies.

After years of wrestling with what to do with the his rightful anger toward the Serbians, Volf has come to the conclusion that forgiveness is the best option. "To forgive is to blame, not to punish," says Volf. "In forgiving, I absorb the injury." He quotes Tolstoy who says, "by forgiving a person one swallows evil up into oneself and thereby prevents it from going further."

All of us suffer the harm of enemies in life, but when you love your enemies, you announce the hope that their is better news than the evening news. There is a greater hope in the world than the mere justice, there is the hope of redemption (the world being set right again).

That's why our isolation in this country is so tragic, because...

C. our relationships are the evidence of Jesus' significance
If there is no healthy, loving, growing group of people in the world today that are following Jesus and living his life together then there is not merit to the claims of this book. If the church is a bunch of judgmental hypocrites, we shouldn't preach this. I love what Rob Bell says, "are you smokin' what you're sellin'?

The claim of the Bible is that the world is hopelessly broken on its own, we're disconnected from each other, our relationships are broken - we're isolated from God, from people, we're disconnected from the earth, we're destroying it one enemy at a time, one barrel of oil at a time.

But the claim of the New Testament is that good news has come in the form of a man sent from God to restore our relationships - all of them. And if relationships are not restored, then the world has the right question the goodness of our ‘news.'

As followers of Jesus, we are under specific orders to demonstrate through word and deed that the good news is actually good. The apostle Paul's deep concern is that we actually demonstrate it - in deed! We contend for it. We fight for it. Are you going to join Jesus' cause?

That brings us to his other question, you can't separate it from his cause, Jesus says, you want to be my friend? Well will you trust yourself to my other friends in the church? Even if they are dysfunctional.

Let's read on the next section: In this next section of Phillipians Paul lays out the plan for healthy relationships.

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Because healthy relationships are the evidence of Jesus' great triumph on the cross. Healthy relationships are a signpost to all that visit, Jesus' story is still being written.

III. Healthy relationships mirror Jesus to the world

Paul says,
"Therefore (because you're fighting for Jesus' cause), if you have any encouragement from being in Christ, if any comfort from God's love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being by having healthy relationships, notice that healthy relationships...
A. Healthy relationships start with knowing Jesus

Maybe you're like me, you put yourself out there an you try to have great relationships with everyone around you, but your always tripping over your baggage. Like for instance, I have a really hard time with people that remind me of the place I grew up - the small town of Lowell. If you look like the small town type, I'm going to avoid you. I find myself approachin people like they were the schoolyard bully, or like your my mom, or you were my college professor. I mean its wacky, we take all the stored up baggage brokenness we accumulate and we unload on other people.

We find ourselves oblivious to other's feelings, or tied up in knots over a confrontation - and when we try to love other people like Jesus tells us, we find ourselves trying to give away what we do not have.

Paul would say its not enough to have a few action steps, self-help won't cut it, he's saying, "out of what you have received from God." Have you received any encouragement? Without any affirmation or encouragement (added courage), your going going to approach your relationships like a dry sponge, sucking people dry.

"Have you received some comfort?" If you haven't been consoled in the pain in your life, you won't have much to offer; you'll probably avoid people in pain. Do we have any avoiders? I'm not going to that funeral, I'm not visiting the hospital, I don't have the words?

Paul says, have you had any fellowship, is the Spirit of God filling the void of loneliness? Or have you stuffed your loneliness with work and school and more relationships and a drink. If you don't get that taken care of, you'll approach people like a leech. Like a sponge. You'll suck people dry.

Have you let Jesus answer the questions of your heart. All of us have them: questions of our heart, questions from deep in our soul, "am I good enough? Is my life going somewhere? Am I respected? Does anybody love me?" Am I generally on the right course?

We have no hope for healthy relationships until we are tied in, personally, until we let Jesus answer the questions that plague our soul.

He'll do it, it takes some major courage, "God, I am really lonely, I am really empty or aimless." Friends, there is no other way to have the deepest points in your life met other than to take the risk on God, to be before God and to cry before God and to tell God how afraid you are that he won't come through to you, to allow him to comfort you, to encourage you and to fellowship with you.

If you do that, here's what your relationships can look like
"Make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose..."

Like-minded, having the same love, being one...
That's the way it is between friends, best friends. You don't have to try to agree, your hearts want to agree (so that you get to be together), you don't have to negotiate every decision, you don't have to debate, you just submit getting your way to keep things fun and light.

I have a couple friends like that...I don't care if Matt's wrong about something, I don't have to prove it. I don't care if Jeff's fixated on something that I'm not interested in (like diners and drive-ins), I just want to enjoy something together, so I've got the same love now for golf, greasy food and old music. You see friends change their opinions, change their plans, change their attitudes to have something together. Its always better to have something together than to have your way - alone.

B. Healthy relationships result in shared life
like minded, in pursuit of the same things

C. Healthy relationships aren't a given at church.
You've noticed that church relationships are not healthy just because we smile at each other? Some of you smiled at me this morning but you don't like me! You don't like that I'm wearing jeans when I preach. Or you don't that I'm younger than you. Or you don't like that I'm not like your old pastor. Or that I'm too much like your old pastor. Or you don't like that thing I said to you once. Or that I didn't call you back or remember your name.

Paul closes with three thing that can destroy our attempts to have relationships that reflect Jesus.

3 Relationship Busters

He writes: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. "
The trick is that these three things Paul lists disguise them selves as healthy behaviors.

There is such a thing as good, Godly ambition. The trick is figuring out if your ambitions are of the good variety or the selfish kind.
1. Selfish ambition
Let me give you a few questions that can illuminate it for you.

Is what is driving that decision or choice or feeling is it comparison between you and another person?

It is where we say, "I am upset with this situation because I am better than so-and-so and they get all the glory."
Or, "If I don't say 'yes' to this or if I don't agree to this new task, then some other person is going to get ahead of me."
If comparison between you and someone else is at work, then that is selfish ambition.

A second way to discern selfish ambition in yourself is to say, "Whose expectations are driving this thing in me?"
You know, you may be obsessed with something and you feel like you have to accomplish it. You are obsessed with your job.
You are obsessed at doing the best.
You are obsessed with with having the most.

Is it godly ambition or selfish ambition? Well, whose expectations are driving you internally?

Is the drive inside being stirred by the expectation of your parents and the desire to meet their expectations? That is selfish ambition. Is the drive inside based on the desire to meet the expectations of your spouse? Or to prove someone wrong about you. That is selfish ambition.

Is the drive inside based on what God expects of you? Is it God that has been laying this on you? Is it God whose calling is so strong that you just can't shake it? Have you asked that question? That is godly ambition if the reason you are driven and so obsessed is because God won't leave you alone. But if something else is driving you, then it is selfish ambition.

Selfish ambition makes it hard to really value other people at church (or anywhere for that matter).

2. empty opinions (vain conceit):
The perspective that the latest thing you read or heard is the only legitimate way to think.

When we always have to express their preferences even when it is on issues of relative unimportance. I don't like the way the drums are played. I don't like the decor. Empty opinion is shown when all issues in your life are equally weighted.

Story: Last week before church I got into a debate with one of my older friends here at the church about global warming. He's old enough to remember fondly the so-called global cooling disaster of the 70's, and so he's appropriately skeptical. But I, armed with a pocketful of quotes that I read on the world-wide interweb found cause to drop some knowledge on him. That's vain conceit.

It makes it hard to like each other when you're that sure of yourself! Especially when you borrow the quotes from the internet!

It makes it hard to like people at church when everyone has to see it like you.

Paul finishes with the ultimate relationship issue:
3. consumerism
The issue is humility: is it all about me and getting what I want? We're trained this way, this is what we bring to church. One of you sent me an email this week that you like the flavor of the Vineyard. And I say this lovingly, because I've thought it too, but churches don't have flavors, they have people and causes, and I'm glad you want to be part of this one.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all said "yes" to Jesus. What if you came to church to learn to love people like Jesus did.

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