The Vineyard Church of North Grand Rapids, MI

I'd Like to Grow Old with People Like Mack & Nan & Willie

Ray Befus November 16, 2008 The Shack Series #10
I John 4:7-12 (TNIV, p. 837)

1. The Shack begins and ends with some words from Willie, Mack's best friend of 20 years. "I have known Mack for a bit more than twenty years, since the day we both showed up at a neighbor's house to help him bale a field of hay to put up for his couple of cows. Since then he and I have been, as the kids say these days, hangin' out, sharing a coffee . . . Our conversations bring a deep sort of pleasure, always sprinkled with lots of laughs and once in a while, a tear or two.

2. Not many of us have best friends, or close friendships that have lasted 20 years-even ten years. Think about it-a friend close enough to share life as a soul-mate, 20 years and still going? A quarter of Americans report that they don't have any close friends at all. A quarter of us never have friends over to our homes for dinner, and for most of us it's pretty rare. We spend a lot of time alone watching television, movies, surfing the net, and checking our face book.

3. I mean this sincerely: I'd like to grow old with people like Mack and Nan and Willie. Not just fellow Christians, but close friends--partners who share the journey with me. Honestly I'd like to grow old with you! ILLUS: PP Slides Show

TRANS: Today is the last of our Sundays together in this Shack series. I've really enjoyed exploring the Bible with you as we've answered some of the spiritual questions raised by the book. Thank you for coming along on this journey and inviting some of your friends who are living with a Great Sadness. Mack's journey is everyman's journey.

I. WE'VE ALL WALKED IN MACK'S FOOTSTEPS.

A. Steps into Sadness-Pain, judgment, withdrawal, sadness. Many of us have been where Mack was when we met him early in the story: dutiful, careful, detached, introspective, consistently sad or frustrated by overwhelming disappointment and pain. CONTRAST: You might be surprised to discover that not everyone who experiences deep disappointments and pain lives with a Great Sadness. Some people suffer loss and actually find their way to joy. Pain seems to soften them instead of harden them-maybe like Nan. But not those who use judgment as a survival tool-like Mack did. Christians who set themselves up as judges generally either strike out or withdraw from others . . . a critical words, or cynical coldness, both expressions of judgment. It's hard to be friends with a judge!

B. The Shack leads us to believe that there is another path through life . . . A Journey Toward Joy-Invitation, kindness, communication, challenge, relationship. Graciously, God supernaturally intervenes to rescue Mack from himself (sort of like God did with Saul in Acts 9).

1. This journey starts with God's invitation-Papa's note: "Mackenzie, it's been a while. I've missed you. I'll be at the shack next weekend if you want to get together". God is still inviting men and women back to the place of their pain to meet him and enter the process of transformation. Jesus has given people like us a similar invitation: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."

2. Next, Papa meets Mack with unexpected and overwhelming kindness. Papa drew Mack into her arms the way Jesus, in Luke 15, describes the father of the prodigal son embracing his long lost son. Throughout the weekend, it's God's unexpected and unrelenting kindness that patiently draws Mack toward repentance.

3. The third step in this journey is heart-to-heart communication. Just talking about everything that comes up. All weekend long, Mack is invited to speak the things in his heart. Nothing is held back-laughter and tears, anger and longing, confusion and doubt, repentance and love. Nothing is out-of-bounds. Mack finds healing just in talking with God the way a man or woman talks with a trusted mentor and friend . . . the way Moses talked with God, the way Peter talked with Jesus. The communication often included pointed challenges-frightening challenges- to look within, to take responsibility, to own lies, to forgive, to change and grow.

4. The last stage in this journey toward joy is authentic relationship. Mack feels relaxed, welcome, accepted, understood, and valued at the dinner table with God. Wow! And, it's not at all one sided; a real relationship is formed. God truly enjoys Mack's stories, values Mack's questions, and delights in Mack's company. Mack and God have both been reconciled to each other and, for one amazing weekend, Mack experiences the joy of heaven. God actually likes Mack. And, he's especially fond of Nan and Willie.

TRANS: Seem too good to be true? No exaggeration . . . the Bible invites us all into this circle of friendship with our triune God-Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

II. GOD INVITES US ALL TO JOIN THE CIRCLE OF LOVE.

A. The Shack (p. 105). "So this was God in relationship? It was beautiful and so appealing".

1. Some of my favorite sections in the book involve meal times with God-Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. There's laughter and tenderness, teasing and comforting, moments of painful self-awareness, all in the midst of a lot of heart-to-heart sharing . . . about life (and death), about Mack's anger and questions, and the devotion shared by the members of the Trinity. Mack discovers that Father, Son, and Holy Spirit live together in the deepest possible friendship, the most life-giving friendship you could imagine.

2. The tri-unity of God is one of the most foundational teachings in the Bible. It's probably not too much to say that the tri-unity of God is the heart-beat of the Christian faith. It's mysterious but true. There is only one God, but he exists in three distinct persons. Father is fully God, Jesus is fully God (not just a prophet or spiritual guide), the Holy Spirit is fully God (not just a spiritual force or power). They're three distinct personalities, but just one being, equal in essence. Don't ask me how this works. ILLUS: As Papa explains to Mack in The Shack, a God who isn't bigger and more complex than our human brains can comprehend wouldn't be worth worshipping.

3. The author of The Shack is actually an unusually insightful student of this ancient doctrine, drawing some of his distinctions from writers as old as Augustine. The Bible reveals that our Creator is a God of love. More to the point, God is love. Since love is a verb, love can't exist without an object-someone to love. Think of it: you and I can call ourselves loving men and women, only if we are actually loving other people. Love isn't a feeling, it's a verb, a relationship. Love doesn't exist in isolation. One person, existing all by himself isn't love, or loving. So, since God exists as three persons, this divine love has been shared for all eternity between three persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit-enjoying each other, communicating, sharing, partnering in creation.

4. The early church fathers thought long and hard about this loving relationship between the members of the Trinity. They described this relationship as a dance . . . a dance in which three persons join together so tightly, move with such unity, dance with such grace that they can actually be said to be in each other-the Father in the Son, the Son in the Father, and the Spirit in both. The church fathers said that all of creation, all of our lives, originated and are sustained in this eternal dance of self-giving love.

B. The Trinity-An Eternal Dance of Love

1. Christianity's good news is that Jesus has come down into our world to invite us to join in this dance-this perichoresis (Greek term)-this circle-dance of love in which no one goes through life doing his or her own thing, no one has an individual agenda, no one is an island, a lone ranger, or a lonely super hero. Instead, all of us, together with God, in self-giving love, form a life-giving, authentic community . . . loving, sharing, supporting, serving one another. Diverse in our races and cultures and personalities and life experiences, but intimately united in our love for God and one another.

2. Friendship or authentic community is an essential part of Christianity. Deep friendships aren't an add-on or an extra for some of us; they're an essential part of our faith. ILLUS: American Christians have been working very hard to redefine Christianity to fit their culture and lifestyle . . . to make their faith private, personal, individual, separate from the church-the rest of God's family. As Americans we've been so deeply influenced by the world that we've convinced ourselves that we can live "Our Christian Faith" as a private faith. We have our own individual Bibles, our own individual worship CD's, our own individual schedules, ministries, and charities.

3. The centrality of loving community to the Christian faith is reflected in Psalm 68:6, "God sets the lonely in families, . . . but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land". The good news isn't that you get to go to church now and heaven later-all by your lonesome little self. The good news is that you've been invited to leave your very busy individual existence behind and join an eternal, ever-expanding dance of love in which all the participants are the closest of friends, who make their decisions based on love for God and one another.

Of course, some people are proud and rebellious. They'll tell you that they're not ready for community . . . they don't have time for small groups . . . they don't need friendships. They're determined to have it their way . . . to approach God and interact with other people on their own terms . . . to chart their own, individual course through life. They'll come to meetings, but they aren't here to make friends. They live in a sun-scorched land.

TRANS: I'm here to say that it's actually God's plan for us to grow old together with friends like Mack & Nan & Willie-men and women of whom God is especially fond. The essence of God's existence is a loving circle-dance, in which men and women who love God and love each other waltz through life together-sharing laughs, sharing tears, struggling and growing and celebrating together. The heart of Christianity is relationship and love.

C. Who's really in this circle dance? Are you?

1. When Jesus instructed his disciples to love each other as he had loved them, he wasn't asking them for a favor, something extra they might do with their free time, if they weren't too tired at the end of their busy days. He was reminding them that their whole faith is based on being loved and loving others. The whole Christian faith can be distilled into two lifestyle commitments: love God with all your heart soul, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. Christianity isn't a religious contract in which we promise to go to church and to be good and, God promises to forgive our sins and help us escape hell. Christianity is an invitation to join a community that loves God with heart, mind, soul, and strength, and loves all the others with a special fondness.

2. Sixty years after Jesus called his disciples to live a life of love, the Apostle John, as an elderly man, wrote a letter to some Christians like us who lived in the ancient Greek city of Ephesus. READ I John 4:8-12.

a. (v. 7) Dear friends = Beloved. Beloved is trinitarian dance language! This is the same Greek word the Father used at Jesus' baptism when the Holy Spirit fluttered down on Jesus like a dove. This is my beloved son! When you join the dance, you join a circle of self-sacrificing love, the circle of those God loves, the circle of those who love each other. Is there anyone in the room this morning, apart from your spouse or children whom you could honestly call beloved-my dear friend? If there's a gap between this Scripture and your life, that gap is your invitation to take a step of growth today! It's a good thing.

b. (v. 8) People who live in relationship with the God who is love, become more loving the longer they're around. The longer they are part of this eternal dance, the more kind, generous, forgiving, self-sacrificing, caring, available they become. If you know some church-going folks who aren't becoming more loving as they grow older, you have good reason to wonder if they really know God in a personal way, if they're really part of this circle dance. God puts the lonely in families; the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

c. (vv. 9-11) What is love? It's a lot more than attending Sunday services, being polite or occasionally giving some money. Love's benchmark is Jesus' self-sacrifice-his death in our place to pay the penalty of our sins. Real love starts where smiles, handshakes, and Hallmark cards leave off. Real love begins with the decision to sacrifice ourselves for the good of others, to give our best to partner with them in seeing their deep hurts healed, their tender longings fulfilled, their dreams come true. This is the way God has loved us, so this is the way the dance works. Take God's hand, and then you take the hand of your fellow Christian. Then you let love guide you, empower you, sweep you into the future. The more you love, the more joy you experience.

d. (v. 12) If you ever watch Dancing with the Stars, you know that every dance moves toward a grand climax. John tells us that this trinitarian dance of love doesn't reach it's high point when we return our love to God-when we take communion or sing our songs or gratefully put our money in the bags that pass by us. The dance reaches it's zenith-it's most dazzling and inspiring moment-when you and I decide to give up our independent agendas, to open our hearts to these strangers, to love these people in personal, practical, self-sacrificing ways. In moments like those, outsiders catch a glimpse of God and his love for them.

C. ILLUS: Richard Gere and Jennifer Lopez starred together in a romantic movie called "Shall We Dance?" Don't be shocked; there's no illicit sex or adultery in this movie. It's the touching story of a businessman whose life-career and marriage-has gone flat. His day job as a corporate attorney brings him little joy and, his marriage has lost its fire. But each evening, as he rides the train home from work, he sees a beautiful ballroom dance teacher looking wistfully out the dance studio window. He's bored; she's sad. So one night he gets off the train and goes to the dance studio. What's he after? Will he cheat on his wife? Is the dance teacher as lonely as he is? We don't know.
So they begin evening dance lessons. The man's wife suspects that he is having an affair, but he's not. He's just rediscovering love and joy, passion and renewed life in ball room dancing. After taking dance lessons, and renewing his own passion for life, the lonely man returns to his wife and they experience a breakthrough in their relationship. In the final scene this businessman and his wife return to a party at the dance studio and his teacher-the master dancer-looks him in the eye with real pride and delight and says, "Mr. Clark, shall we dance?" This morning, I think God is looking you in the eye (with delight) and asking . . . Shall we dance?

III. SHALL WE DANCE (Beloved)?

A. In your worship, step away from the wall. Put your whole self into the dance.

B. Take small group dance lessons. Learning to love is a bit easier in a small group where we can learn to lead and to follow from each other. A real small group lesson takes about 3 years.

C. Find a few close friends. Do you have any really close friends like Mack & Nan, Willy? Here at your home church? How long have you been here? A year, ten years, more? How much time do you need before you join the dance?

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